I have been going over some notes of a story I was passionate about. I'm not sure the path I want to take with this story, as I have established two paths in the past. However, I did run across the lessons that I had been doing with the Two Year Novel Project (2YNP). I do think that reconnecting with the 2YNP, a program I participated in the first time it was presented and subsequently purchased, will help me with the challenges I face with this story.

Another thing I have is a significant history of researching this story. I do believe that my previous notes plus the 2YNP and the free lessons given on Holly Lisle's website, in the distant past, will help me see the path this story needs to take. What I really need is to find the PASSIONATE thing about this story that will let it flow from my fingers. I need to sort out the good from the bad in this story and work from there.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

On genetics. I am not wired to interpret the emotional interactions of people and the repercussions of those interactions. My wife is and channeling her plus reading stories I truly enjoy, I see how my storytelling falls flat. How do I overcome this emotional ineptitude?

Holly Lisle (link to the right) talks about channeling dreams - nightmares - to help solve issues within the rough draft, but I remember about one dream a month. The only nightmares I've ever had were when I was young. They were recurring nightmares like I was the front bumper of an out-of-control car that missed the corner and went smashing through the forest. I did have vivid dreams when I was taking Chantix (a stated side effect), but they weren't nightmares, rather they were adventures through unearthly lands.

Anyway, I'll have to figure out a way to teach myself the emotional interplay between humans and how each action has a ripple effect of reactions through each person associated with the original action. I could really wrap and twist this around, but I'll stop this part here.

On blame, I haven't written a word of fiction for a couple of years. I may have dabbled here and there, but nothing coherent has flowed from these fingertips for a significant period of time. The blame lies with me. I haven't taken the time to connect with my stories. Furthermore, I haven't even taken the time to practice, even for a few minutes a night. I've had a few good ideas that have been floating around in my head for a decade, but I've never realized those ideas to completion.

Clearly, I need to re-dedicate a portion of my free time to my fiction writing. More difficult, getting in touch with the emotional interactions between people and how those people react, plus the ripple effect of those reactions. The first thing, though, is getting back in touch with my story ideas. So, I will make a list of goals before year's end and post them. Wish me dedication.

I've been going over my posts of late (=0) and realize I have disappointed myself and anyone who still checks in.

I also came across an article in a magazine to which I subscribe where the pacing, engagement, and mastery of diction caused me to stop and read it again. I think it was in my June (yes, JUNE) edition of Scientific American, which I read this past weekend.

I need to find that article, but I think I put into the recycle bin. It resonated with me; not necessarily the piece, but the writing. Which leads me to thought.

I am contemplating my resolutions for the new year and this (plus extended family) is a significant part of them. I'll revisit this topic after the new year. Thanksgiving to New Year give 14 hour work days in my line of work, leaving little breathing-room.

With a friend's help, I've procured a new way to get a majority of the cards I need on the cheap. Most of the MTG clearing houses (including ebay) sell full sets for a premium, but the dregs (commons and uncommons) can be had for dimes on the dollar when bought as a complete common/uncommon set. I've recently purchased a C/U set worth $65 in hard fought auctions for $22.

In times where money is tight, bargains can be had trading on the cheap. Then, when a player has money, that player can purchase the rares or mythics the player needs when they can afford them. After that, a player can then fill out their "player's set" (4 of each card) as the money hits. In the end, this may cost more money, but for anyone on the payment plan, the extra money put forth will eventually be worth the effort. Not everyone can slap down $700-900 for a full player's set in an instant. But most players can, if they are patient, slap down $900-1100 over the course of time to get the same cards. It's another example of the have-nots subservient to the haves.

This article isn't about financial reserves. Instead, it is about informing MTG players that they can get a lot of good cards that aren't rare or mythic for about $25-40 for a complete player's set.

For anyone who plays Magic: the Gathering, I hope this was useful.

Hi, it's been a while since I've posted. To anyone who still comes by here occasionally, thank you.

I have been doing things here and there that aren't writing related. I've bought a $100 aluminum 12' boat, celebrated my latest birthday today, and have been re-engaging my affinity with Magic: the Gathering. I've built three new decks recently and have researched that it will take me approximately $13,000 in cards to catch up with the current MTG set.

Because I have been out of the game so long, I don't have any cards that wouldn't be considered Vintage/Legacy. But, that works in a good way, too. For those who know MTG, I started when the game was new so I have the Power Nine, the Dual Lands, and some of the cards that would arguably round out the Power Ten. My collection really ramps up with Tempest block through Odyssey block. I know I'm missing some significant cards beyond that, but player sets are easy and relatively cheap to come by for most of them.

Anyway, my $13,000 assessment is filling in the cards I don't own from Mirage on. Most of the cards are wallpaper worthy, but the few cards that hold true value make up about 80% of the purchase price of all the others.

P.S. I've had an account on essentialmagic.com for about a month now and have one public deck out of five. When I'm really ready to release some decks, I'll post back some links to them for comment. Until then, I have been active in acquiring specific cards on eBay to round out a deck that shows great potential. See you soon-ish.

I wish everyone a happier, a more blessed, and a more bountiful year than last year.

I'm not to bore you with resolutions or any other New Year's traditions. Instead, I simply offer my best wishes to you. Love and blessings.

Best wishes to Andy and everyone who is suffering from a cancer that doctors say will take more than a year to kill you. I spotlight Andy because I love the Starz original series Spartacus: Blood and Sand and he has my cancer - Lymphoma, though I don't know what classification. I had small-cleaved-cell. Anyway, my message is simple.

I am a firm believer that, in these types of slow-progression cancers, attitude is one's best defense. I was diagnosed on December 31, 1996 by phone (made for a weird party that night). My first oncologist gave me a prognosis and said that I have 4-6 years to live, on average. When asked if I should treat it, she was ambivalent, but whether or not I treated it, my life expectancy was the same.

I got a second opinion.

My second oncologist said my prognosis was the same, 4-6 years treated or untreated, but when I asked him if I should be treated, he definitely had an opinion: yes. I entered a clinical trial gauging the effectiveness of two well established treatments, one more invasive than the other (invasive meaning quantity of side effects not result of treatment) and, in a random lottery, wound up with the less invasive treatment. The treatment was once a month for eight months with a follow-up of a year's worth of immune boosters (interferon-2a) administered subcutaneously two weeks on and two weeks off. I'm here to tell you that the immune boosters had a much more severe effect on my daily living than the original cancer treatment.

Back to the thread. When my first oncologist gave me my prognosis, I cried the entire trip home (1.25 hours by car) and accepted my fate. With the second prognosis, my oncologist (about 12-15 years my superior) asked me what my goal would be if I entered the trial. I replied, "I want to outlive you." By the look on his face, I don't think he had ever heard that answer.

The sum total of this post is that I am a survivor of almost fourteen years. I told the cancer I was going to kick it's ass and I have. I drink. I have smoked. I divorced my then wife, married and divorced again, and am very happily married to a friend of sixteen years. I have a cancer affirmation I say with irregularity. I take vitamins and supplements. I have a positive outlook on my life and have planned for my retirement.

Boil it down: I told cancer that I was going to kick it's ass; I'm still around kicking it's ass. Fear is cancer's greatest weapon; it will kill you. Don't fear cancer; kick it's ass. Don't set goals for your tomorrow; set goals for your grandchildren. Imminent death will change your life; it will make you mortal. Your perspective will change when you are given a death sentence; what you do with your new mortality is completely up to you. I'm living proof.

No, really. I'm still here. I haven't done anything with the writing for so long that I don't even remember the thread. We have been waiting for financing to come through on a new house where everything is on one level with space enough I can have a room of my own. Once we have that, I'll be able to lay out the room to my maximum benefit, thus enabling me to have my notes where I need them and remind me that I HAVE A STORY TO WRITE.

My environment isn't the only problem. I'm LAZY. As you can see from my previous posts and my current predicament, I am not DEDICATED to the writing. Once I have a room to call my own away from distractions and with a room where I can spread out, I will have an organic place to develop my ideas, confront my conceptual shortcomings, and refine my "eye" for writing as I move from a strict copy-editorial level to a relationship-building level where the writing reaches a voice that touches the heart more than an autobiographical litany of event+event+event=story. I don't want to be a fictional killjoy anymore. But, it's going to take more than WANT-TO. I will have to overcome my innate laziness. That will be hard. But, the good story isn't easy.

I'll keep you posted on the progress of the house. As in a parallel to Sex In The City, if the house comes, so will the writing. I don't anticipate any writing until the beginning of 2011 because of the Christmas rush associated with my job, but once I'm able to organize on my level - according to the writing - I believe that I will be able to actually finish a long story. In the meantime, I may post a fun short or two. Whoever still reads me, thank you. I desperately want to reward you with something substantial.

My cancer problems haven't bothered me much since the oncologist asked me what my goals would be if I were admitted to a clinical study judging the seemingly equal effectiveness of an invasive treatment versus a less-invasive treatment, treatment method decided on a flip-of-the-coin basis. Luckily, I got the less-invasive treatment (according to my oncologist, whom I believe because of the minimal side-effects I experienced). In all scenarios — untreated vs. treated, more invasive vs. less invasive, etc. — my life expectancy was 4-6 years, on average. I'm at thirteen point five years and happily counting. But there's a caveat.

As I see it, any diagnosis of cancer would put a person on a more vigilant observation of their own body and on the functions of that body. I've noticed changes in my body that could be attributed to aging — I'm a month from 40 now — or they could be attributed to a more sinister happening — on average I'm nine years past my expiration date, but my cancer hasn't metastasized and my overall health has improved.

The changes I've sensed are very minor. They could be minor aging difficulties or even attributed to losing my gall bladder in 2002; I'm not sure. One thing to be sure of is that I need to get checked out. It's been a while, and even minor upsets in the daily routine — over a period of time, however minor — may be indicative of further investigation. Here're the symptoms and their possible causes.

Catch-In-The-Throat - Allergies, they've happened around this time of year for as long as I can count, but it's associated with excessive phlegm which very slightly may be associated with lung cancer.

Change-In-Bowel-Movement - A change in diet may explain this, but I haven't had that. Are my hemorrhoids acting up, is cancer trying to invade my waste disposal unit, or does the lack of a gall bladder keep one constantly guessing? It's time to find out.

I guess the thing I'm trying to say is that I'm way past due for a checkup for someone who's supposed to already be embalmed already. I embrace the life I have, even though I continue to procrastinate doing so. How many rules did I break in that last sentence?

Anyway, I'm glad to still be around. I hope you're as glad to still breathe as I am and, furthermore, I hope you are as blessed as I am to be spending the rest of your life with your best friend. May she keep me alive forever!!!

WOW! I've moved this project into territory that makes its origins completely unrecognizable. However, this is not an entirely bad thing. While I was in the shower digesting the old, it came to me how I can integrate it with the new, make a coherent and believable story, and increase the conflict and stakes of the story. I want to notecard this weekend. I hope I can get the coherence together by then.